Depression

Sometimes the thing to do is just cry.  Shoveling was my downfall today.  We might have had three inches of wet, sticky, and heavy snow.  The snow thrower didn't want to throw.  Sleeping in this morning seemed wonderful.  Upon awakening I felt almost refreshed and I was ready for the day.  At some point while clearing snow that shifted and I was in pain and angry.  I followed this up with stretching out on my bed and trying to recuperate with tears.  I seem to remember a week or two ago saying that I was in a funk and that it wasn't the bottom.  Really hoping that today was the bottom, because then there is nowhere to go but up, right?  Depression is hard.  Pandemics are hard.  Snow is heavy.  

Another hard thing was forcing myself to continue with going through a box.  One box a day is all I am aiming for so I did it.  There was a box within a box, so I only did one of them.  I decided to start by doing a little flip onto my bed.  This helped to cheer me a little.  Eventually, I was deep  into old papers that were my mom's and that got my head in a different space.  The good news is that I found quite a few things to get rid of in this box, and not just paper.  Other happy things include:

• We watched Star Trek Next Generation tonight and I really enjoyed the episode-Parallels.  What I think I liked about it was how the realities were shifting.
• One of the things I found in the box was a banner from when I was in Campfire Girls in the 1970's.  We all chose alternate names and made a patch for the banner.  My mom was most likely the leader or someone else would have the banner-I come from good-almost hoarder-stock.  It is a cycle I am trying to break.

I don't remember who is who here.
Mine might be the one on the middle right side?
I feel like this is not politically correct, but it is part of my history.
We were trying to learn about other cultures.
If felt burns well, this will eventually feed a fire.

• This gave me a chuckle...

I don't know who the people are.
The sign reads: Head on Parking.

• Despite not being in the best of moods most of the day I still accomplished my step goal, did 50 squats, and went through a box--I even laughed and smiled some.
• To the reader: Thank you for checking out my little blog.  It is not much, but trying to come up with things that made me happy during the day has meant so much to me.  I considered not writing it anymore.  Times are hard right now and this is helping me.  I hope that sometimes, it brings a smile to your face too.  Much love and appreciation.

☮

Currently listening to Quiet, by Susan Cain.

Stay safe.